One of the questions I see the most is “What do I say when she tells me she has a boyfriend?”
It’s that feeling when you think everything is going great and you hear those 4 deadly words that kick you right in the gut. Or, even worse you barely get done with saying hello and the words get hurled at you. You feel like she didn't even give you a chance, instant dismissal, she instantly assumed she’s better than you.
This is where I have seen some of the most creative, witty and memorised lines in game.
"I have an English test tomorrow. Oh wait, I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter."
"You're already calling me your boyfriend? We just met!"
"You look like the type of girl who would have 2 boyfriends."
Now, these are cool and sometimes funny lines, however, they are not that effective.
They come off as very memorised and try hard. Also, the girl has likely heard them all before.
Let’s first look at some of the reasons girls will say she has a boyfriend.
1) Shit test - testing to see how you will respond and if you will crack under pressure
2) Habit - So many guys hit on her she’s just used to saying she has a boyfriend to get rid of them
3) Half true - Almost all high value attractive woman will have a man in their life. Whether it is a causal, open, or semi serious relationship. These women are not commited or exclusive and would be open to new partners. Even if a girl met up with a guy from tinder a week ago they will sometimes feel the need to say “I have a boyfriend”
4) It’s true - She actually has a boyfriend and doesn't want to lead you on. However, unless you are escalating hard or creating a level of discomfort, most girls with boyfriends enjoy conversation and light flirting. This is why most guys will find themselves in interactions with girls that are incredibly receptive and find out 30 minutes later, or worse, hours later that they are in a loving committed relationship.
If a girl tells you “I Have a boyfriend” early on in the interaction then it is likely one of the first 3 options.
If this happens I’m going to give you the ultimate thing to say. This is what I teach on program and has been working for all our students.
It's important to have the right mindset and subcommunication when saying this. The belief is that you know she likely doesn’t have a boyfriend and you don't really care either way. She is just a girl that you wanted to get to know to see if shes cool.
Girl: “Sorry, I have a boyfriend”
Me: “Oh, that's really cool. How long have you guys been together?” (blaze/curious attitude)
Girl: * x amount of time*
Me: “Oh, so not very serious.”
Now quickly jump to a new topic. “Where did you say you were from?”
So fucking simple right? But, why does this work?
Firstly, you will pass any shit test through your sub communication as you remain nonreactive and don't really care about her ‘objection’, if anything it comes across that you are happy for her she is in a relationship.
If it is a case of reason number 3, where it's not actually a boyfriend but a non serious relationship. After you mention its not very serious, she will often verbally or mentally agree with this. This also shows that you recognise the situation, removing any possible judgment. For example a girl has just starting seeing a guy and been on two dates. You now both acknowledge that it's casual and you are free to continue a romantic interaction.
If it is a case of number 4. When she is in a serious relationship, she will heavily object to you saying this line.
“No really, we have been together for 4 years, we love each other.”
You will get good at determining when this is the truth. I usually jokingly repeat, yeah so not very serious” and move on.
But generally this is the time you can recruit her to help you as social proof to find another girl.
If you reach a point where you have gotten past this and you are still unsure. You can escalate verbally or very low level physical escalation and she how she will respond. For the most part don’t waste your time unless you are just looking for a good conversation, move on.
There is it. Sometimes simple can be best.