For one, you will encounter more resistance more often with physical escalation. More concerns and resistance usually means backtracking or having to put in even more work after. The more compliance you have, the more physical you can be. But most guys won’t be able to gauge compliance very well.
And physical calibration is not a skill most guys have.
Physicality or physical escalation requires more compliance, especially in a social environment. However, it requires far less in your bedroom, which is why you’ll likely not see me be very physical anywhere but the bedroom.
Building tension is also more effectively done with verbals, tonality, body language, eye contact, creating visual imagery, etc…
The physicality is the release or peak of this tension. You can reward with touch. But it’s usually not the focus. And it’s best subtle. Especially if you’re testing compliance, anything more, and you could give too much validation. You could ruin (or release prematurely) the tension.
For example, make outs. I’ve rarely seen Alex and Mark make out. I’ve seen other PUAs do it very often. While I have done it (I can even recall each time the past 2 years) it was a rare situation where I felt it was needed. In Vegas, I watched the couples that would spend the most time making out and waiting. Because I knew she’d get validation, the tension would be gone, and she’d eject. But while her “buying temp” is high and I’d be just in for the easy pull. This was one of the surest patterns I’ve noticed. However, there are a couple of reasons why I am personally not physicaly
It’s much harder to get the girl to chase when you’re the one being physical. I use her physicality on me to gauge where I am in the interaction. How much she’s chasing. And in general, what’s effective.
If I’m constantly physical, this isn’t possible! She could be politely reciprocating your physicality. But also, once she sees you’re very established in the chaser frame, she will instinctively amplify the prize frame, which we don’t want.
2)I love DHVing. And I love sexually DHVing. So my focus is on my verbals. DHVs are essential to her chasing. If you’re very high value, they will chase to some degree. The ultimate reward is compliance all the way and obtaining that sexual DHV (10-15) at the end of the night, which obviously requires physical escalation. That’s the real release. That’s the real reward. So there’s one thing we’ve all left out. That’s choking, hair pulling, etc… I used to do these things far more back in the day, but I can convey dominance without it, even verbally with sexual authority DHVs.
If I do these things, it’s usually brief to create quick attraction through dominance to give her a taste, something to desire, and chase.
Or, in some rarer cases, it is needed to pull or close. This part, I don’t usually teach because it requires excellent calibration and a very strong frame.
But I had a girl in Poland (and Thailand) where being physically dominating was needed to generate enough sexual attraction for the close. Again these girls are less common. But it’s a higher risk situation, and I’ve declined to pursue a couple of these girls for a couple reasons (I didn’t feel I could calibrate in my current mood or didn’t want to take a high-risk move in the circumstances).
Most guys are horrible at it and give away too much power. It’s best to develop your other skills (verbal, tonality, body language, etc…). With growth and experience, you’ll naturally learn to be better physically—better calibration (which comes from experience).
“Why is it better to turn her on verbally than physically…”
Women want to chase.
Women want tension building (physicality can release this)
Women love dirty talk. Women love reading erotica (I had 2 exes that didn’t watch porn but read – it’s why sexting you’ve seen me do works so well)
Men are typically pretty bad at verbally and mentally stimulating women without touch. So this rare moment will make her even more excited.
What is one major key to why the gangbang routine works so well?
I and Alex pulled a Swedish girl within 5 mins of arriving at the club. First approach. When I explained how we do gangbangs, I did it in a way where I slowed my speech, and in detail, painted the picture of how exactly her experience will look like. I put the sexual, positive visuals in her mind. She created them. I could see her get “horny eyes,” as I call it and bite her lip.
This isn’t anything new. It works.
What did she do next? Disqualify other girls for the GB and qualify herself as fun, open-minded, and not taking sex so seriously. All on her own. SHE CHASED…. for a gangbang within 10 mins of talking…. Again, I’ve had cases where being physical and displaying dominance was the proper route. And I will again. But this is a much smaller percentage..
HOWEVER! If you come across as looking afraid to touch a woman… as being timid… if you aren’t DHVing, your sub comms are shit… you’re not sexualizing or showing intent… displaying a level of dominance, leadership or sexual authority… you need to have the confidence of a man if he so decides can take it to control. Lead. Dominate her. And fuck her properly. Don’t come back to us after a platonic interaction where you didn’t lead or DHV, move the interaction forward, and say not being physical doesn’t work or something.
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Until next time