This has been popping up a bit lately, so I wanted to address it
The act of paying for a girl’s drink or meal and the perception it creates is culturally dependent. For Russian girls, you should practically always pay for the drink. It is socially expected, and going against that will make a feeble perception of you. The act will be viewed as submissive, cheap, “not a man.” It will create completely avoidable concerns.
With Swedish girls, it is the complete opposite. Insisting to pay for them might create a perception that you are arrogant and sexist. They may be offending that you think they are less than you.
If you have invited a girl for a drink, you should be willing to pay for it. If you can’t afford a drink, either get them straight to the house or get a job. Some guys might be tightasses and rationalize that they are trying to build investment. There are plenty of other ways to build investment without something risky, like trying to get her to pay for a drink.
Sure it can be fun, especially night game trying to see how many girls can buy you drinks or having girls pay for nights out and hotels. But, if you genuinely want to take the girl home at the end of the night, I wouldn’t be complicating it unnecessarily.
I offer to pay; most girls will then do the fake, “Oh, I can pay.”
This is just them trying to be polite; they often don’t mean it at all. I will reassure her at this point, “No, it’s fine. I got it.”
If the girl persists (Swedish girls), I would say something like, “you can get the next round / next time.”
I wanted to add this is very different from girls you have just met in the club. An added element here is how “easy” you come off to the girl. Don’t be that guy buying her drinks within 5 seconds because you are trying to spend more time with her.
From The Attainability Section Of The Product:
Once you have learned to be more challenging and disagreeable, it’s time to find the balance.
Buying a drink for a girl is a perfect example of how guys don’t understand the principles behind being challenging versus just being a dick. It’s blindly been preached never to buy a girl a drink for the longest time in pickup. However, it entirely depends on the context.
Let’s look at the scenario below.
Not Challenging Enough
If the girl is trying to use you for a drink or trying to impress her, and you buy her one immediately, your value will instantly plummet.
She sees you just like every other guy. You come across as transactional as if you are buying your way to her attention. This ultimately moves you away from any romantic or sexual frame.
Guy: “Sure, I’ll get you a drink right away! What would you like? Do you want ice in it as well?”
Too Challenging
If you both have a significant interaction, you are interested in each other and have chemistry. You get to the bar, and you demand she pay for her drink, or you awkwardly try to split cents in the bill; she will think you’re a tight ass. But worse, she will think you don’t care or have any respect for her.
You now look like a jerk.
Guy: “I don’t buy drinks for girls. What, are you broke?” *Serious tone*
Right balance
Finding the right balance can be difficult. You must first find the line of what is too far and too challenging through experience. From here, you need to experiment by bringing it back and finding the right balance.
It also depends on her reasoning behind asking for the drink.
Is she trying to use you?
Or does she want to spend more time with you?
If she wants to spend more time with you and have been hanging out for a while, there’s nothing wrong with buying her a drink. However, if she hasn’t heard your approval or is trying to use you, then these lines are the right balance of challenge.
Guy: “Sure, we can get drinks later. “
Guy: “If you want a quick drink, you should go ask that guy. I’m sure he would buy you one!” *Smile/playful*
You can learn more about challenging non-compliance in the Compliance chapter.
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Until next time
Best